I’ve been going through some of my old writing now that creating this blog has re-inspired me to try and put words to thoughts. I wrote the following almost exactly 9 years ago. When I read it today, it was like a wellspring of pure, unadulterated hope bubbling up from my thirsty heart. With incredibly minor revisions, this vision for my life is as true to my desires today as anything I could have currently attempted to put into words. How grateful I am that I was right when I said I know my innermost core. Why? Because if that is true, and my most sincere desires have remained true for 9 years, and if I can put this forth to the universe, then I choose to believe I can make this vision true as well.

Writing my life

I’m married. I’m loved by and in love with my husband. There is passionate sex and peaceful companionship and laughter and fun and partnership in our marriage. There’s trust and comfort and respect.

My husband and I travel a lot – inside and outside the United States. We take weekend trips often and at least one big vacation per year.

We live in a small house with privacy, a beautiful garden or courtyard in the back and near the water.

I don’t think I have children.

My life is peaceful, tranquil.

I’m healthy and slim. I exercise regularly – running, yoga, tai chi, kickboxing, things of this nature.

We live in or near a major city with cultural offerings. There are museums, especially art museums that I love to visit. We go to plays and concerts and special events, the two of us or with friends and family. We walk to neighborhood restaurants and bars. We try out the latest places in town.

I take classes or am involved somehow in a university atmosphere.

I’ve rediscovered that sweet part of me that was so caring of others. I do something worthwhile with that whether it’s volunteering for charity work or spending time with children or helping friends and family out – some action is involved.

I have friends and we have friends. People come over to visit us at our house and we go to visit them at theirs. There are parties – hanging out, celebrations, not beer bash how drunk can you get parties.

I’m close with my family but have learned where the middle ground of distance is. I love my parents and my sister and her family and my husband’s family. I show my love for all of them while maintaining the me-ness and us-ness that is so important to me.

There is creativity in my life. There is beauty in my life, all around me. I create beauty around me when it’s lacking and appreciate the beauty of what’s already there.

I’m open. I’m imperfect but love myself enough to let other people see my flaws and trust myself that I will be okay even if people see the real me. Many people will love me the same as now and many will love me more for it.

I have passion and purpose in my life.

I wake up excited about the day.

I go to bed at night satisfied with the day that was and happy to rest before the goodness of the day to come.

Please god let me be vulnerable enough and brave enough to show this prayer in my thoughts and in my actions every day so it may come to pass.